Friday, November 4, 2011

10 Things the Parents of ADHD Children Wish You Knew

I was reading a blog, 'Beauty For Ashes', a while back.  The author, Shay, wrote an entry entitled "13 Things My ADHD Child Wishes You Knew".  She was inspired by someone else who wrote and educational piece, "10 Things My Autistic Child Wishes You Knew".  SO, the inspiration continues with me.  I have decided not to rewrite the piece but to put my own educational spin on it for all those who will be in contact with me and my family.  Here it goes.
*Keep in mind that these do not necessarily apply to everyone with children affected by ADHD.  Also, I am always open to talk about my son.  I do not get offended by questions when motives are well-meaning!*

10 Things the Parents of ADHD Children Wish You Knew
(the countdown)
10)  We have plenty of "advice" to work on and implement from professionals.  We do not need more advice from non-professionals.  We DO need support in the form of understanding, love, and prayer (and an occasional babysitter)!

9)    Be patient with me if I have to stop mid conversation to tend to my son.  I am listening to you and you are important.  I do want to hear what you have to say. 

8)    Do not try to talk to my child while I am explaining something, correcting, disciplining, or soothing him.  All you are doing is causing confusion, excess distraction, and another layer for his brain to decipher.  It causes more harm than help.  If you want to be supportive, simply reinforce what I have already said to reassure him. A smile is a great way to do that.

7)    My son’s disability was NOT caused by anything me or my husband did or did not do; It was not caused by anything we did or did not feed my son;  It was not caused by too much TV, video games, or neglect to allow him to play outside.  None of these things can improve or change my son.  They are all things we regulate in order for my son to have a well rounded, and productive life, however, they are not related to ADHD and it’s symptoms. 

6)    We (my husband and I) chose to medicate our son in order to give him the most advantages in life as possible.  This was not a decision we came to quickly or rashly.  It was a decision made after a lot of prayer, research, discussions with our pediatrician, and observation of our son in multiple social environments.  We are not and never will “settle” for the “easy way out” or compromise our son’s well being for the sake of convenience. 
*Natural remedies are not cure-alls either, so please do not tell me the benefits of gluten-free, sugar-free, or another "free" diet that will cure my son.  We research everything that we choose to use and weigh the risks and benefits with our pediatrician and other professionals.*

5)    Please do not compare my son to other children.  He is unique and special.  We do not compare him to other children because we do not want him to be ‘just like everyone else’.  We love him for who he is and we want you to get to know him and accept him because we know he is pretty awesome!

4)    I am human!  I get overwhelmed, frustrated, impatient, angry, tired, and emotional.  Sometimes, it all comes out at once, in various forms, at various people.  Please, don’t take it personal. *I NEED PRAYER too so don't give up on me!

3)    We are doing our very best to stay organized by using schedules, routines, and organization tools.  Some days are better than others but some days are simply chaotic.  If you decide to stop by on any given day, my house may or may not be immaculate.  Try to give us some notice so that we may welcome you into a straightened house!

2)    We are ALWAYS looking for babysitters!!!  :)

1)    All of the decisions that have been made were made with love, care, compassion, a lot of thought and prayer, keeping our son's and our family's best interests in mind and striving to do what is right.  THERE ARE NO SIMPLE SOLUTIONS!

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