So, Donavon was put on a very low dose of the medication. Things were starting to change. We started to educate ourselves on this thing called ADHD. Someone explained it to us like this:
Imagine a hamster on a wheel. He's running so fast and that little wheel is spinning. When he gets tired, he hops off and shuts down to go to sleep. Well, Donavon's mind is like the hamster on the wheel. EXCEPT, he can't choose to get off! He's stuck running and running. It's hard for him to concentrate on something when the wheel keeps spinning. So, the medication is to help the hamster slow down enough to hop off if he wants to.
We saw a bit of a difference at first. He could slow down and focus for a bit longer but we also saw him up later. He still wasn't catching up in Kindergarten though. At that point, we had to move. We knew the transition wouldn't be easy for Donavon, but it was unavoidable. Our family went from a family of three to a family of five...overnight! So, we had to get a bigger place. Donavon was excited to get a bigger home. He even got to pick his room. Because of the move, we were able to enroll Donavon in the new school in Kindergarten and he didn't have to see his friends move on without him.
Then we saw his classroom.
*SIDE NOTE* Creativity is great. Inspiring creativity through creative floor plans for classrooms is great too...IF the child does not have ADHD.
Donavon's school had an "open floor plan", which meant that there were no doors, just an entry way shared by two classrooms with a divider. As a child with ADHD, his mind is looking at everything that moves, makes a noise, or is bright or shiny! Anyone who walked by in the hall took his attention. Any noise from the class next to them turned his head. To add insult to injury, the teacher was out for the majority of the year on maternity leave. That meant substitute after substitute. Donavon struggled for most of the year. The only thing I believe that got him through was the fact that he was repeating all of the material so it was familiar!
Donavon was now six. He had survived so many physical difficulties including being born three weeks prematurely by emergency C-section, abused by a babysitter as an infant, RSV at six months old, frequent respiratory problems, and MRSA. Then they began to look at his kidney and bladder function. Donavon was still wetting his pants. What did that mean? He wasn't stopping to go to the bathroom or he couldn't hold it long enough? Whatever the problem was , we had to fix it. He was in tears every time he had an accident because it was embarrassing for him. He felt like he had failed and disappointed us! We were following all the rules. No drinks two hours before bed time. Set the timer for every two hours for continence training. And, of course, the Doctor added a pill to help strengthen his muscles. It helped the full on accidents, but didn't stop the "leaky faucet" type of dripping.
We were referred to a Urologist who decided that the cause was regrowth of foreskin. SO, one more trip to the hospital. After Christmas, January of 2009, Donavon went in for corrective surgery. He was circumcised. He was a trooper! I was so proud of how brave he was...and always is in the face of another medical procedure!
Now that this hurdle was jumped, we had to re-focus on his education. He was going to pass Kindergarten but I was sure that he wouldn't be able to sustain a passing grade in the environment he was in. At that point, I put him in for a transfer to a school that was actually closer to our house, but didn't provide bus service. It was the best move we have made so far!
I learned, that year, that I am the only one who has the power to stand up and fight for him. I am the coordinator, the circus master, or project manager that organizes all the teams working on or for Donavon. It is my responsibility to make the decisions. I have to choose what is best for my son. You can take what they tell you and have no control while watching your child slip away, or you can be a mother/father and take control of your children's well being. I chose, that year, that I was not going to just let everyone tell me what to do, and feel helpless as my son gets tossed to and fro. I am going to be there every step and orchestrate the whole thing to make sure he has the best childhood possible! It's never too late. In fact, the sooner the better. As soon as you understand it, that is the time to act. And I did.
TO BE CONTINUED...
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