Too Little, Too Late?

So, Donavon was put on a very low dose of the medication.  Things were starting to change.  We started to educate ourselves on this thing called ADHD.  Someone explained it to us like this:

Imagine a hamster on a wheel.  He's running so fast and that little wheel is spinning.  When he gets tired, he hops off and shuts down to go to sleep.  Well, Donavon's mind is like the hamster on the wheel.  EXCEPT, he can't choose to get off!  He's stuck running and running.  It's hard for him to concentrate on something when the wheel keeps spinning.  So, the medication is to help the hamster slow down enough to hop off if he wants to.

We saw a bit of a difference at first.  He could slow down and focus for a bit longer but we also saw him up later.  He still wasn't catching up in Kindergarten though.  At that point, we had to move.  We knew the transition wouldn't be easy for Donavon, but it was unavoidable.  Our family went from a family of three to a family of five...overnight!  So, we had to get a bigger place.  Donavon was excited to get a bigger home.  He even got to pick his room.  Because of the move, we were able to enroll Donavon in the new school in Kindergarten and he didn't have to see his friends move on without him. 

Then we saw his classroom.

*SIDE NOTE*  Creativity is great.  Inspiring creativity through creative floor plans for classrooms is great too...IF the child does not have ADHD. 

Donavon's school had an "open floor plan", which meant that there were no doors, just an entry way shared by two classrooms with a divider.  As a child with ADHD, his mind is looking at everything that moves, makes a noise, or is bright or shiny!  Anyone who walked by in the hall took his attention.  Any noise from the class next to them turned his head.  To add insult to injury, the teacher was out for the majority of the year on maternity leave.  That meant substitute after substitute.  Donavon struggled for most of the year.  The only thing I believe that got him through was the fact that he was repeating all of the material so it was familiar!

Donavon was now six.  He had survived so many physical difficulties including being born  three weeks prematurely by emergency C-section, abused by a babysitter as an infant, RSV at six months old, frequent respiratory problems, and MRSA.  Then they began to look at his kidney and bladder function.  Donavon was still wetting his pants.  What did that mean?  He wasn't stopping to go to the bathroom or he couldn't hold it long enough?  Whatever the problem was , we had to fix it.  He was in tears every time he had an accident because it was embarrassing for him.  He felt like he had failed and disappointed us!  We were following all the rules.  No drinks two hours before bed time.  Set the timer for every two hours for continence training.  And, of course, the Doctor added a pill to help strengthen his muscles.  It helped the full on accidents, but didn't stop the "leaky faucet" type of dripping. 

We were referred to a Urologist who decided that the cause was regrowth of foreskin.  SO, one more trip to the hospital.  After Christmas, January of 2009, Donavon went in for corrective surgery.  He was circumcised.  He was a trooper!  I was so proud of how brave he was...and always is in the face of another medical procedure!

Now that this hurdle was jumped, we had to re-focus on his education.  He was going to pass Kindergarten but I was sure that he wouldn't be able to sustain a passing grade in the environment he was in.  At that point, I put him in for a transfer to a school that was actually closer to our house, but didn't provide bus service.  It was the best move we have made so far!

I learned, that year, that I am the only one who has the power to stand up and fight for him.  I am the coordinator, the circus master, or project manager that organizes all the teams working on or for Donavon.  It is my responsibility to make the decisions.  I have to choose what is best for my son.  You can take what they tell you and have no control while watching your child slip away, or you can be a mother/father and take control of your children's well being.  I chose, that year, that I was not going to just let everyone tell me what to do, and feel helpless as my son gets tossed to and fro.  I am going to be there every step and orchestrate the whole thing to make sure he has the best childhood possible!  It's never too late.  In fact, the sooner the better.  As soon as you understand it, that is the time to act.  And I did.

TO BE CONTINUED...

A New Outlet

Well, here I am.  A 28 year old mom trying something new.  I want to be clear from the beginning.   I am not doing this to provide any kind of advice, professional therapy, or medical remedy of any kind.  I am simply a mom sharing experiences, thoughts, frustrations, and, yes, even the occasional successes in an effort to journal the fantastic and chaotic journey that is ADHD. 

I am also NOT here to debate the existence of the disorder, or the over or under diagnosis of it.  I am simply here to vent.  SO, without further ado:

Donavon, my 8 year old son, was professionally diagnosed by our pediatrician when he was 5 1/2, spring of 2008.  We knew he was different from other children in that he was behind on a few developmental things but between the ages of 3 and 5 it became more and more apparent that he was not the same as his playmates.  There are quite a few things that frustrated us but at the time he was an only child and so we were working with him constantly which, in my opinion, made a lot of difference. 
Donavon is an exceptionally outgoing child.  He is very happy, most of the time and will talk to you till he passes out or sees something more interesting and will halt in his tracks and head in that direction!  We always considered that an endearing trait that he possessed.

The summer he turned 5, I gave birth to fraternal twins, Nathan and Maya, both of whom are now 3.  Needless to say, my hands are overflowing!  At first, Donavon was an awesome big brother but when the twins were four weeks old, Donavon was hospitalized with MRSA in a bug bite.  Long story short, the picking "tick" that is associated with ADHD, caused him to pick at a mosquito bite on his leg and he contracted MRSA.  He could not touch the twins or even be in the same room with them for about three weeks.  We all had to undergo antibiotics!  It was a mess!  That incident really set Donavon in an attention war.  We were torn between newborn twins and our quarantined son!  I usually had twin duty since I was the milk machine!  Donavon, being a boy and still tugging on mamma's apron strings, went through a tough roller coaster.  He had lots of fun with Grandpa, Grandma, Auntie, and Daddy but could not get enough Mommy time.  And, because MRSA is contracted by saliva, I couldn't get too close because I could have been the carrier between him and the twins.
Then he started Kindergarten.  Looking back, it was a mixed blessing.  I'm glad we started him early (he was the youngest in his class since his birthday was just before cutoff) because we were able to better gage just how different and special he was.  However, he also struggled with some of the minor things.  For example, he tried so hard to learn to tie his shoes.  To this day, he still has some trouble and usually ends up tying knots a few times before he gets it right.  He would practice and practice until he cried because he just couldn't understand the steps.  All of his evaluations came back excellent in most areas.  Now, in Kindergarten, he had the Red, Orange, Yellow, Green cards.  Green is the best.  Red is the worst.  That one was a phone call home.  Black was sent to the Principal.  He seldom went further than Orange.  I do recall that there were some substitute teachers who didn't know him very well, and got frustrated easily.  I got phone calls those days.  His reports were something like this:
DONAVON is a happy, outgoing student.  However, we need to work on excessive talking and roaming around the room. 

On many occasions, I would get the phone calls.  Mrs. A. was a great teacher, but we couldn't seem to get past these reoccurring problems.  One after another, we would discuss the issues on phone calls, notes back and forth and Parent/Teacher conferences.  Then, spring came.  Spring break, I had a check-up scheduled to see the Doctor so he wouldn't miss any more school (he was sick a lot that year).  When I talked to him about how frustrated I was with his education, he gave me the evaluations for me, my husband, and the teacher to fill out.  We scheduled another visit for two weeks later.  At the second visit, he decided to put Donavon on the lowest dose of medication (I'm not looking to advertise for any drug companies.  If you really want to know, inbox me, and I'll tell you what it was). 

That was it.  ADHD.  It explained SO many things.  A lot of our whys were answered!  I cannot tell you that medication was the "miracle" we were looking for.  Far from it!  It was simply a turning point in the story/journey that is ADHD. 

A wise person once said "Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and over, and expecting different results."  We were going insane.  But then we tried something new.  And wouldn't you know, we got different results!

TO BE CONTINUED...